Are You Anxious In Love?

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Are You Anxious In Love?

You have a tendency to be anxious in love and dating; you worry a lot about your relationship, feel constantly anxious if the person you are with feels the same way. There is a deep concern that you will be rejected and you worry you will do something “wrong” to turn your date or partner off or make them disconnect or leave, and you may feel on edge all of the time and hypervigilant to any changes in your partner’s engagement or level of interest. And if you are with someone AVOIDANT, all of these feelings will get MAGNIFIED.

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4 Mindfulness Skills For Getting Through Uncertainty

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4 Mindfulness Skills For Getting Through Uncertainty

Living with the stress of prolonged uncertainty takes a toll on physical and mental well-being. Even if it’s not pandemic-level uncertainty, every day we bump up against low-grade uncertainties that can amp-up anxiety if we don’t build up our coping-skills toolbox.

To get through uncertain times, we often adopt less effective skills and strategies to cope that can be unhealthy. These often self-sabotaging coping skills can side-track us from our goals and can damage our most important relationships —and out health and wellbeing….

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Why "You Need To Be Alone" After A Break Up Is Bad Advice

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Why "You Need To Be Alone" After A Break Up Is Bad Advice

When a significant attachment is severed, comfort is required. Sure, pets, even your kids can help. But nothing can really fill in that gap of the closeness required other than another human we are specially bonded to. This is why it is so hard to stay away from someone you love when you are hurting, why you want to go back to the person who broke your heart, and why trying to follow the advice of being alone after a break up seldom works.

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Why Avoiding Uncomfortable Feelings Keep You Stuck

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Why Avoiding Uncomfortable Feelings Keep You Stuck

Each of us has a strategy for avoiding certain feelings we don’t like to feel or don’t know how to deal with. For example:

—Do you ever binge eat or drink when you feel depressed, agitated, frustrated, hopeless or angry -and then feel guilty or horrible morning after morning?

—Maybe you shop impulsively outside your budget or engage in casual sexual relationships to try to numb the pain of a breakup but just put yourself into increasing debt or feel empty and wrecked after attaching to someone unavailable?

—Do you ever sit on the couch mindlessly binge-watching shows or spend hours on social media instead of researching new career sor job alternatives to the one you hate, just to avoid the fear and overwhelm?

When we do this, we can develop habits that are not life-serving and can keep us STUCK, rather than growing and flourishing.

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The Three Stages of Limerence

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The Three Stages of Limerence

Limerence is an intense emotional state and experience of being “in love.” It may start out as a “crush” or “infatuation” but can move into an intense all-consuming state either over time or very quickly. Unlike mutual love, limerence can be a distressing one-sided affair of the heart, body and soul. You may not realize what is happening until you are up late googling “obsessive love” because of intrusive, involuntary thoughts and fantasies involving your love interest.

… and find the term you never heard of called… Limerence.

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