Painful Love: When Loving Means Longing

Painful Love: When Loving Means Longing

Love just out of reach. Hoping, wishing for more. Hanging on.

The pain of basic relationship needs not met.

Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship where you felt truly fulfilled or loved. Or drawn over and over to the just out of reach partner. The pain of longing can create a sort of intensity. A bittersweet passion. It can also make love without longing feel bland or missing “something.”


Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you didn’t do the chasing, you were pursued without ambiguity and it just felt off. Boring. No SPARK?

Maybe the more attractive option was the quiet, stormy, brooding guy just out of range who would barely even give you the time of day?


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The Three Stages of Limerence

The Three Stages of Limerence

Limerence is an intense emotional state and experience of being “in love.” It may start out as a “crush” or “infatuation” but can move into an intense all-consuming state either over time or very quickly. Unlike mutual love, limerence can be a distressing one-sided affair of the heart, body and soul. You may not realize what is happening until you are up late googling “obsessive love” because of intrusive, involuntary thoughts and fantasies involving your love interest.

… and find the term you never heard of called… Limerence.

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