In 2011, I was introduced to hot yoga. Though I wasn’t new to yoga, I was sure I was going to hate it. A ridiculously hot, sweaty, smelly room with strangers for an hour and a half in 105 degree heat? No thanks. But with some encouragement and the idea of getting out toxins and old emotional baggage through sweat and hard work, I agreed. After I survived my first class, I was curiously hooked.Read More
In an attempt to make us stronger and get the best out of us, it’s far too familiar that parents, teachers and caregivers have used the “tough love” approach on us. But what I keep seeing over and over working with clients is that there is a fine line… not all tough love is created equal, and not all young people are able to take this kind of firmer encouragement without internalizing it as “I’m not good enough and never will be”.Read More
We’re six months into the year, a good time for a self-reflective check-in that doesn’t revolve around making abrupt resolutions. I also find summer is a good time to adjust and make course corrections to goals and circumstances that you can implement now or in the next six months with more ease. Also, you may agree that’s it’s much easier to harness the naturally more extroverted energy of summer to make changes and put thoughts and ideas into action.
Here’s your task: Get some paper or a journal and write two lists.
What’s Different in my life from one year ago?
What’s the Same in my life from one year ago?
Try to get as detailed as possible and try not to put any judgements on the facts yet. It’s easy to overlook small changes and forward progress we’ve made happen that were positive because we often expect huge leaps forward. Just take an inventory of where you are at in an honest way, not ignoring the small stuff.
As you are making your lists, you will notice emotions coming up. You can put a star next to the items that bring strong emotions. Sometimes your life in “same” list territory is a blessing. Other times writing something on the “same” list feels like a land mine of frustration or despair. If there is something that feels heavy or negative, put a star next to the item. There may be some grieving or change-work that needs to be done and this can help you prioritize. If the work involves change - perhaps the same items have been on your “same” list for too long and they need your undivided attention now before they move to “stuck”.
If you’re trying to move from Same to Different in an area - you can ask yourself…Where is there already momentum in this area? What next step can I take to move forward- even a small amount? If something in your life has changed for the better, congratulate yourself on the work you did to make that come to fruition. While lucky breaks do happen, it’s more often that it’s a result of taking agency or risks in our lives that makes the difference. Take time to really notice your part in the process of positive change as you continue to move forward on your path. As you complete your lists, feel free to shoot me a message if have any questions or want to dive deeper into any area of your life to make some positive change!
At a point in the not too distant future, you will long for and possibly grieve the moments and the times of your life that have now passed, even when it seemed they were too difficult, painful and challenging. They were a part of you and your process of growing.
Take time to appreciate all of the parts and the moments. Time moves quickly and soon what you have grown to know will change, and change again. You will lose many things by way of time and change even as you are working toward progress. In your younger years, time feels infinite and also the periods of misery and struggle over making big decisions can seem never ending. It’s when you are older with more experiences behind you that you will see all of the moments, what you did have (instead of the lack) and where you were trying to flee or change yourself or life rather than being very present in moments.
Being STUCK is exhausting. And it can go on for years. A good friend of mine once said to me “this is your specialty” (getting stuck) and to her I responded, I think I just take a really long time to come to decisions….Read More