Healing The Heartbreak Of Limerence

You can Heal From the grief of limerence

In the aftermath of limerence, there is the void — the empty space where you are caught in the in between of the fantasy (of who you thought or imagined the person to be or your relationship) and the reality. You will find yourself grieving not only the fantasy parts of the limerence and your LO (love object), but all of the POSSIBILITIES and the HOPE.

You may go through all of the stages of grief and loss…

Denial - You can’t see the reality of who your LO is clearly and will do anything to hold onto any crumbs of hope that your LO will reciprocate feelings. You have an idea of who they are that probably does not fully match up with reality, which keeps feeding the limerence. You keep going back for hits of the limerence drug.

Anger - You are beginning to despise the ups and downs of limerence and your LO for not reciprocating or matching who you thought they were in the fantasy. You are angry that you are not able to control the ruminating or the cyclical thinking that always leads back to involuntarily thinking about your LO and craving the reciprocation and validation.

Bargaining - You wonder what you can do to change yourself, to make the situation change or to make yourself noticed or more attractive to them. You begin to lose yourself more and more to hold onto the fantasy and “possibility.”

Depression - You’re at the bottom and have trouble knowing where to go from here. Loneliness, feelings of shame zap you of emotional and physical energy. You are not getting the same “hit' or high from limerence and know something has to change, but not sure what.

Acceptance - This may come many months after the limerence first “crystalized”. Within the acceptance may be a lot of sadness, crying and purging of the pent up feelings. Needing to get it “out” and feeling ready to transform the experience into something else; the need to understand what has happened to you and why. A lot of processing in fear of slipping back or the limerence transferring to another person.

The most time is often spent in between the bargaining and depression stages during limerence. Letting go feels almost impossible, because that also means letting go of a dream of how you wanted things to turn out or what needs you may have caught a glimpse of being fulfilled by this person and the bliss that brought with it.

Do any of these feel familiar? Are you in any of the stages of limerence grief? I understand because I’ve been through all of the stages myself. Whatever stage you might be in, I can help.

If this resonates, I’d love to work with you. Healing from a really tough limerence experience or pattern of limerence is possible. You can be free of this and go on to have a mutually fulfilling relationship and begin to put the focus back on your SELF, your goals and needs that have probably gone unmet for a long while. It’s a journey worth investing in - because you are worth it.

With love~

Coach Steph