The Self Esteem Triangle
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This article is about the Shape of Self Esteem for those of of us have Self esteem attacks - how it feels and visualizing the highs, the dips, the plateaus and the reversals.
Imagine a Big Triangle.
The Self Esteem Triangle often goes like this: you are at the mid left of the triangle, you are doing okay, even well, and slowly starting to make your way up to the top point of the triangle.
Once you are at or near the top (which is actually just healthy self-esteem) it feels kinda shaky, and then something ever so slight can knock you down so you are now sliding down the right side of the triangle and then hanging out down at the bottom again until you try to work your way back up, again, over and over. Sound exhausting?
It is.
Some of us never even get into the top portion. It feels too uncomfortable and unstable. So we hang around the mid section, either slightly ascending or on the other side, feeling like we are always trying to catch ourselves from falling or reverting back.
When you are not on solid ground with yourself or comfortable in your own skin, you’ll always be looking outward for approval, and you will always feel the effects of “the triangle.”
You are either headed upwards because you are getting good feedback from others (or a special other) or you are headed downward because of a criticism, a rejection or “failure” or just the fear of it. It could even be self generated criticism that bottoms you out.
If you have been hanging out at the bottom of the triangle, I feel you.
This place might be your “comfort zone”, even if you hate it.
Creating healthier self esteem isn’t actually that complicated (and doesn’t usually involved geometry) PS. I hate math!
I work with clients in a three point process for creating healthy self esteem so you can get out of the never ending loop of seeking outside validation and approval to be the source of your confidence.
Curious about learning more about how this works? You can schedule a sample session with me HERE.
Take good care,
Coach Steph
