Sometimes the people we choose as lovers are not meant to be long term, committed partners. It’s futile to keep beating yourself up if the transition never happens. Don’t blame yourself for the difficulty that may occur if you try and it’s not working out. What makes it even more confusing and difficult is that intense sexual and physical bonding with a lover triggers our emotional attachment system. After physical intimacy that feels amazing, connected and deeply satisfying, we can naturally desire to keep our lover close. This is a sign of your attachment system working to try to create a securely attached bond - which is totally normal!