How often we find ourselves in this conundrum: living in the moment, for what is appearing now, in temporary satisfaction, pleasure and pain relief even if the best thing for us in the long term may not be visible quite yet. It's so hard to hold out for more when the impulse is to satisfy desires NOW.
It takes supreme faith, patience and cultivation of acclimating to the often painful reality of the the present moment to push through to reaping the benefits of both holding out AND actively reaching out for more. We have to work at both in tandem. If we only hold off on short term pleasures and pain relief without actively working at and seeking out what we really desire, it may just feel like forced deprivation and emotional/physical/spiritual starvation.
If you are in a pattern of engaging repeatedly in less-than fulfilling love relationships, jobs, friendships or behaviors that satisfy in the moment but then leave you empty and hollow soon after, these things are most likely taking up too much psychic space in your life to allow what you really want to come in. There is another way through.
For me, one unexpected benefit of practicing hot yoga for almost 9 years has been learning the discipline of dealing with myself and my demons in a highly uncomfortable environment. At first I was just drawn to the heat, the cleansing feeling the practice offered me and the physical challenge. Then it went deeper. I had a lot of self hate come up. A lot. At times it was unbearably painful staring at myself in the mirror for an hour and a half each class and fighting all of the negative self dialog that kept running through my head. I had to allow all of my immediate impulses to flee, distract and down right just give up and walk out completely come to the surface and then work through the discomfort and pain with more strength and determination than I ever knew I had in me. Now when something difficult and uncomfortable in life arises, I can sit through all of the range of emotions without going to my first impulse: to flee the present moment to make things more comfortable.