Going to our edges is an important part of building self awareness. We need to know how far we can push or pull back, how to keep our bodies and hearts safe, when too much is enough and when to keep pushing through to growth.
Sometimes we need to get to a breaking point as part of knowing ourselves more deeply.
For years I was caught in an emotional pain cycle as I discovered my edges. If I'm really honest with myself, I admit that part of me was drawn to living on an emotional edge, and the emotional stimulation it brought: the edge of love, the edge of loss, the edge of feeling free, the edge of ALMOST, but not quite.
It was going to these places and having to confront my own negative patterns and self sabotage that ultimately brought me to a place of radical self acceptance and an internal transformation I did not quite expect: a calm and unshakable feeling of being grounded in myself.
Knowing the situations, emotional patterns and choices that led me too far past my edge, I easily identify now where I'm no longer willing or able to go. Living in the shadows of my darker self brought me back to share the light.